Deck of the Day: Maximum Salt—Emry’s Turbo-Graveyard Torture Chamber
Ever dreamed of losing to a single blue mana and a pile of trinkets? Do you crave the exquisite agony of passing the turn, only to watch one player untap, mill, loop, and Aetherflux you into oblivion—all while you question your own deck choices? Welcome to DeckStir’s Saltiest Deck of the Day: Maximum Salt: Emry’s Turbo-Graveyard Torture Chamber.
Today’s headliner is Emry, Lurker of the Loch, the Queen of Recursion, the Duchess of Disgust—your favorite merfolk nightmare. Grab your graveyard hate (you'll need it), and let’s wade through the briny depths of blue artifact shenanigans.
The Commander
Let’s face it: Emry, Lurker of the Loch is the sort of commander who gets banned from kitchen tables. For a single blue mana, she comes down with a self-mill of four and an ability to reanimate an artifact from your graveyard each turn. The cost? Just tapping herself, which, thanks to a parade of untap effects, is less of a restriction and more of a speed bump.
She’s cheap, she mills, she recurs, and she’s a combo engine that makes Sensei’s Divining Top blush. She’s also got a surprisingly relevant backside—dodging almost any removal that doesn't specifically name “can’t be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.” And did we mention she costs only three mana?
Why Is She So Salty?
Because nothing grinds gears like watching your opponent rebuy Aether Spellbomb every turn, or worse, set up a Brain Freeze loop on turn four while the rest of the table is still debating ramp choices. Emry doesn’t just play the graveyard—she builds her own personal recursion hell, and everyone else is trapped inside.
Game Plan
Step 1: Dump as many cheap artifacts as possible into the yard. Step 2: Abuse Emry’s recursion for value, then for infinite value, then for “can we just scoop?” value.
Key Synergies
- Infinite Untap Loops: Emry plus Mirran Spy or Chakram Retriever and a zero-cost artifact (hello, Mishra's Bauble or Lotus Petal) means you can mill and recur over and over. Toss in Grinding Station for the classic “mill your whole deck” finish.
- Aetherflux Reservoir: Once you’re looping artifacts, this lethal kitchenware lets you laser the whole table after gaining absurd amounts of life.
- Codex Shredder/Scrap Trawler/Krark-Clan Ironworks: The graveyard value factory. These let you mill, sac, recur, and repeat—often drawing your deck or assembling whatever instant-win combo is most irritating.
- Sensei’s Divining Top/Mystic Forge/Thoughtcast: Dig, dig, dig. When you’re not outright winning, you’re digging for the next piece—or just flexing your ability to draw 15 cards a turn for pure spite.
- Narset, Parter of Veils: Because if you’re not going to let anyone else have fun, why not cut off their draws entirely?
- Mindslaver: The ultimate salt generator. Once you assemble the lock, you get to play everyone else’s turn. Forever.
The Play Experience
One of three things usually happens:
- Emry is ignored for one round and then never again—because she’s gone infinite.
- The table brings out the torches and pitchforks; you feel like the protagonist in a Frankenstein movie (but wetter and with more trinkets).
- Everyone plays on their phones while you execute a 27-step combo every turn.
Power & Bracket
Power Level: 6/10 Bracket: 3
This isn’t CEDH Emry. There’s no Mox Opal, Tinker, or Force of Will in sight (don’t worry, your wallet is safe… for now). But make no mistake: this deck is fully optimized for maximum irritation, not maximum speed.
Why 6/10? You’re not going to outpace turbo-competitive decks, but you’ll out-value anything below the power ceiling. The deck runs plenty of ways to disrupt graveyards (Soul-Guide Lantern, Tormod's Crypt)—just not for your own. It’s loaded with infinite combos, but sometimes you’ll fizzle or durdle a bit before you grind out the win. It’s the perfect storm: enough consistency to win, enough “fairness” to get invited back (maybe), but so much recursion and looping that everyone will remember you.
Should You Build It?
Do you love artifacts? Do you secretly revel in table-wide groans? Does your idea of fun include spending 10 minutes explaining a combo while three people read Twitter threads? Then Emry is for you.
This deck is not for the faint of heart—or for playgroups who value their sanity. You’ll be the person who brings their own graveyard hate… for themselves. But you’ll also get to live the dream: recur a Mindslaver lock, storm off with Aetherflux Reservoir, or just annoy your friends by never running out of baubles.
Maximum Salt: Emry’s Turbo-Graveyard Torture Chamber isn’t the fastest or flashiest deck on the block. But if you want to be remembered (and possibly uninvited), there’s no better way to lurk at the loch’s edge.
Just remember: some nightmares are best left underwater. Or, at the very least, on the decklist screen.
